Seems the electrical transformers in my neighborhood don’t know what to do with the extra second, either (ggg-ZUNK!!! wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo…)…6:59 PM Dec 31st, 2008from TwitterFox
Yeah, no, I’d really like to cancel. Huh? I’d like to cancel. Uh huh. Cancel. Yes. Here’s my info again. Cancel. First born what?9:27 PM Dec 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
I… dammit, unintentioned abbreviational mimesis. Abandoning after FOUR years. Lexical codec FAIL.2:44 AM Dec 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
What’s that? The same day I migrate alla sudden $94.50 is preemptively renewed? No, Lunarpages.com. Hosted me 4 years but now—we’re through…2:34 AM Dec 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
Would it be morally wrong to enter the Rickroll hotline as a domain’s administrative contact phone number?9:02 PM Dec 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
I don’t think many people acknowledge what a big step in a relationship it is to merge web hosting accounts. I sure know it is.1:59 PM Dec 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ok, you think I’m twittering about you, but I’m NOT twittering about you. Except now I am (you vain bitch, Carly Simon).12:26 AM Dec 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
Anything worth doing will, eventually, become bittersweet. The surprise lies in finding out how.12:17 AM Dec 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
Well, since I’ve now pitched my biz idea to someone who isn’t also my fiancée, I hope he likes it too. It’s too young to die.4:39 AM Dec 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
If Train O leaves Museum R at approx 5:30pm and (family * time since)^2, can Train O arrive at Station SF before heat death of the universe?6:26 PM Dec 27th, 2008from Twitterrific
Alright, alright! Like herding cats through a museum wasn’t reward enough, I’m done with train pictures.5:40 PM Dec 27th, 2008from Twitterrific
Such an odd thing, revisiting fond, faded memories from childhood with an objective high-megapixel DSLR.3:03 PM Dec 27th, 2008from Twitterrific
The great unanticipated faux pas of our relationship is that BOTH families live within driving distance. No one told us THIS would happen.5:06 PM Dec 26th, 2008from Hahlo
If these Almond Roca nuggets don’t hold out, we may not last another night in the wilderness of Sacramento.3:36 PM Dec 26th, 2008from Hahlo
Isn’t it nice to visit home for the holidays? Except replace ‘home’ with ‘crowded freeways’ and ‘visit’ with ‘bring emergency rations for.’3:32 PM Dec 26th, 2008from Hahlo
It appears that we slept through 2+ hours of the sound of an old phone ringing. Battery life would appear to confirm this.9:00 AM Dec 25th, 2008from Hahlo
ALARM FAIL! Errant klaxons have failed me before, but never like this. Gonna miss Christmas?8:33 AM Dec 25th, 2008from Hahlo
“Look, there’s a child attacking that poor tiger!” “It’ll have to be put down…”7:38 PM Dec 24th, 2008from Hahlo
Most popular giftbso far is “war string,” a loop of yarn used variously to tame tigers, garrote adversaries, and ride canines..7:31 PM Dec 24th, 2008from Hahlo
Lotta family here. The pile of presents is taller than the tree. There are more in the garage. I sympathize with the tree.7:18 PM Dec 24th, 2008from Hahlo
The rain, I feign, is driving me insane (actually, it’s the intense traffic and sleep deprivation).5:02 PM Dec 24th, 2008from Hahlo
‘Tis better to give than to receive. Example: our open network, The Mrowr Praxis, seems to work faster with the freeloaders than without.3:38 PM Dec 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
This is madness, Streetsweeper! Only by joining our forces will we ever be able to defeat the scourge that is… _DOUCHEBAG PARKING JOBS_.10:16 AM Dec 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
My only consolation is knowing that whatever jerk poured ice on my car last night probably froze to death anyways.9:28 AM Dec 23rd, 2008from Hahlo
I know this makes me old to the kids, but when the COMPUTER is the thing that stays on in a power outage, it’s still bizzarro-world.1:05 AM Dec 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh yeah, ho ho ho. Your single strand of lights would look impressive if it were on the actual dollhouse your estate was modelled on.9:44 PM Dec 22nd, 2008from Hahlo
Christmastime lollygagging in St. Francis Wood. Seems there is enough parking in the city, it’s just unevenly distributed.9:27 PM Dec 22nd, 2008from Hahlo
Honestly, who worships fruit? Well, besides my Canadian friend. He’s an old-time fruit-worshiper.2:35 PM Dec 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
My parents have just finished their pitch—they’re trying to get me into a cult this Christmas. Can’t say it’s not tempting.2:27 PM Dec 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
I love Christmas. It’s the one time of year I can pull off my North Pole undies. Not, uh, “pull off,” but… oh, you know what I mean.12:57 AM Dec 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Desiging website for compatibility w/ Internet Explorer 6 + extra beer equals NOOOOO! Box model FAIL:!!11:26 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Ha! Santa Claus killed all those people that were naked! Thank you, Bad Movie Night. Remind me why we don’t drnuk twtiter? aH!11:09 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
The self-satisfied giggling furball in my room wants everyone to know her finger puppets are SUPERCUTE. I stress: this is not peer-reviewed.7:30 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
To be fair, it’s mostly “Here comes Fatty with his Sack o’ Shit (and all them Stinkin’ Reindeer)” that does it. The Motown stuff is great.7:24 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
John Waters makes me feel dirty. However, his Christmas album is excellent, since I enjoy the “oh, I feel so dirty… and cheery!” feeling.7:14 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Impudent female! Return to your erstwhile slumber! I have necessity of hiding many, many tabs from you.1:40 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Iä! Sadly, there will be no organized Cthulhu Caroling this solstice. Thankfully, “Him Who Is Not to be Named” will remain nameless.12:30 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
This Solstice, I’d like to celebrate by getting up early enough that the shortest day of the year doesn’t seem like it.12:10 PM Dec 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
This will be the latest-rising sun I will see until next year. That’ why I stayed awake. Yeah.7:07 AM Dec 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
My ladyfriend @panavatar had a brilliant idea earlier today. What’re your plans for this Solstice (Sunday)? Anyone up for Cthulu caroling?2:27 AM Dec 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
Friday is the best day to go out. Does that mean one should not simply go home and eat tri-tip, “California’s cut of beef?” No.1:59 AM Dec 20th, 2008from web
Recommendation from @sfslim indicates I should investigate the Jejune Institute. Random 800 number posted on way home indicates conspiracy.1:25 AM Dec 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
Singing? Dancing? It’s fantastic. I’m as baffled as anyone at my non-exposure to musical theater before age 23. I’ve made up for lost time.1:18 AM Dec 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
“That’s more than enough housework,” she might say. And then she’d push him out the door to see the Snowmiser show. Oh, dreams do come true.9:38 PM Dec 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
Nobody but me gets sentimental about switching keycaps anymore.1:32 AM Dec 19th, 2008from web
Police shoot real bullets into a special barrel. My roommate, ever clever, asks “they have fish in there?” Officer says, “not anymore.”10:33 PM Dec 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
Wikipedia gives us many gifts of knowing— I wanna know why someone would create an account just to disparage Blackie the Horse.10:45 AM Dec 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
When you use “quotation marks” like a pair of tongs—to handle ideas you “have contempt for”—it’s not “punctuation” it’s “being a douchebag.”…1:13 AM Dec 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
“He said ‘you weren’t very good either, I think you bit me,’ and I said, ‘I didn’t exactly kiss you back, Monkey.’” Kids say the darndest…3:47 AM Dec 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
So that’s how it’s gonna be, new router? Either I can access you, OR the internet? Well, I know who my favorite is…2:10 AM Dec 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh yeah, this’ll be fun to ride through first thing tomorrow morning. Do they even have bike racks at the courthouse? Bet you they’re $1.50.2:03 AM Dec 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
My mother inspires me to add this: I have a great relationship, live in an amazing city, and can be elected to the U.S. Congress tomorrow.6:45 PM Dec 12th, 2008from TwitterFox
Dog died, GF’s mom died, fired from two jobs for absurdly bizarre reasons… I dunno, 2008′s kinda sucked for me. Or has *24* sucked?3:17 PM Dec 12th, 2008from TwitterFox
“REALLY!?! … not really.” It’s that magical space in-between that makes deception such a delight.8:44 PM Dec 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
In fact, cannibalism is the only crime mentioned by name in the Constitution.8:39 PM Dec 11th, 2008from web
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab perfume annoying me again… if I smell cookies, I damn well should be able to EAT cookies.7:25 PM Dec 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
Rompope, Egg Nog, and Cherry Coke sprinkled w/ Nutmeg (a.k.a “holiday cinnamon sand”) = my new holiday beverage, the Cherry Nog Creamsicle.2:22 AM Dec 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
Anyways, the final verdict is that my girlfriend needs to stop mixing drugs—the caffeine in migraine pills and the caffeine in Dr. Pepper.5:01 PM Dec 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
So she has me call Poison Control because she just ingested some anti-itch gel and has the shakes, but guess what? It’s liquid Benadryl.4:46 PM Dec 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
I seem to be getting a lot of non-fake, contributing, real people who want to follow me on Twitter. What am I doing wrong? [97]12:20 PM Dec 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
Unemployed game #113: bagging your groceries at FoodsCo so fast, that when they eventually hire baggers, you’ll be the top of the list.11:14 PM Dec 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh, btw, the sunset at Tire Beach was *lovely* …thanks for asking (this ambient intimacy thing only works if you care, too).8:46 PM Dec 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
And yes, until I get a “real job” as a Lightroom jockey, it’s just this, and futile entreaties to be a roasted chestnut vendor.7:32 PM Dec 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
Why is everyone always asking me, “why are you uploading Flickr pictures instead of getting a job?” This is the closest thing I have, folks.7:22 PM Dec 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
RELATED: one of the advantages of old-fashioned number-punching SMS it that it’s time-consuming and distracts you. From, you know, pirates.11:26 PM Dec 4th, 2008from txt
Post Readymade craft faire In-N-Out plans spoiled by drunk, vomiting teenage pirates. Much more annoying than real pirates.11:23 PM Dec 4th, 2008from txt
Interestingly enough, Stigler’s Law of Eponymy (a.k.a. rule of lesser attribution) was… that’s right, not discovered by Stigler. Figures.2:56 AM Dec 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Man, I should have never taught her the magic pattern-interrupt “nobody cares about your stupid problems.” Now she’s abusing the magicalness1:41 AM Dec 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Hold on… this is bizarre. Are we so backward a culture that we still have no word yet for a unicorn/pegasus hybrid?10:33 PM Dec 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Most of Sunday was spent biking Golden Gate Park, pursuing the opposite of claustrophobia & tearing yet ANOTHER hole in a pants’ crotch.9:52 AM Dec 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Ok, hypothetically… say I’m a househusbund and I get chores (“women’s work”) done better in a skirt. Backwards sexism or stereotype hacking?…10:58 PM Nov 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
Playing Secret Weakness again… My girlfriend is the only person I’ve ever known to have be viscerally repulsed by the EVIL THAT IS YARN.11:07 PM Nov 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
I, I shall go Flickring into this good night, and like happy children coloring outside lines, will cross-process till I can color no more.6:21 PM Nov 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
That’ll be the last time I do 2 craft fairs in a row. Wait, what’s that @panavatar? The schedule says otherwise? Well then. Nevermind.12:43 PM Nov 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
The quality of geotagging on Treasure Island is horrendous, especially these music festival ne’er-do-wells… Oh, me? I just woke up for this…12:12 AM Nov 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Plan is proceeding perfectly (she gets a craft fair, I get a Photojojo safari on Treasure Island).2:31 PM Nov 22nd, 2008from txt
Me, I just cleaned house and baked some homemade bread. In my favorite manskirt. How’s your Friday going?11:23 PM Nov 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Ah, little reminders of what I dreamt last night: Chicken John flushed his brain down the toilet… to hide it. It’s cold in the septic tank…4:50 PM Nov 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Another game, “Secret Weakness:” I play by watching someone use my blue hair dye, then getting totally depressed. Everyone’s is different!2:47 AM Nov 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Another of Lynae’s good apartment games (there are many): What Did I Come In Here For? My least fav is called “Find The Smell.”11:02 PM Nov 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
“Honey, I love you.” “I love youtube.” … “What was that last syllable?”9:18 PM Nov 20th, 2008from web
Yeah, I busted a tire on my new/old Univega, but on the plus side I did get to pet that nice black cat which crossed… my… path.7:47 PM Nov 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’ll be a great angry old man. At last, then, to blossom into the charming, noble truthsayer that publicly decries piss-poor planning. Yup.11:22 AM Nov 19th, 2008from twhirl
Sure, some people will be rude and show up for free day when they can obviously pay normal museum rate, but bringin’ em in by the busload?10:44 AM Nov 19th, 2008from twhirl
CAS allows tour buses on free day. If you can charter a bus, you can pay admission. Line stretched to De Young.9:52 AM Nov 19th, 2008from txt
How do I know I underslept? Only four tweets to read. Perfect storm of street-sweeping day/free museum day/not enough tweets day.7:34 AM Nov 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
Everyone’s day sucked except mine. And I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. THAT’S HOW BAD THINGS ARE.10:52 PM Nov 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
Just think: one day culture will finally romanticize public transit, and the hipster elite will ride fixed-gear BART cars.4:33 PM Nov 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ugh. Done. Figured out why the right pant-leg gets rolled up, and the BIG importance of tightening the seat. Remind me when I do this again.4:21 PM Nov 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
Never understood the necessity of using “mark” to mark the start of something. Why not another name? Orin. On my Orin… ORIN.1:13 PM Nov 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m making the perhaps questionable decision to take my new (old) bike with it’s new (old) seat on a 6-mile flyering errand. Pray 4 ma butt.12:43 PM Nov 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
Seems I’ve ended up at my folks’ place in Santa Rosa. How does this keep happening? S’not like I planned it, called them, then drove here…1:28 AM Nov 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
OWW. Have now extracted a tiny inch-long pin deceptively lodged in foot. And here I thought I had nerve damage—pins and needles, indeed.2:59 PM Nov 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
So, what are my fellow amateur numerologists planning to do today, November 11th, at 11:11? I plan on having an epiphany.11:05 AM Nov 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
My mom’s a sweet lady but she may be purposefully overestimating how much I’d enjoy special ed kids. She should know better, having done so.9:20 PM Nov 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
This is getting ridiculous. It’s been a week. I need to stop dreaming of the Obama presidency.12:52 PM Nov 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
I can’t wait to have a kid. There’ll be a little person I can teach to power-cycle the router for me. But maybe I’ll get a monkey butler.3:10 PM Nov 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
All I wanna ask my fetishistic fan on Flickr is this: what makes you think I want *every* photo tagged girlfriend & feet also tagged ‘sexy’?7:27 PM Nov 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
You know… it’s stupid, it’s sentimental, but I still think it’s important to own at least one pair of boxers that two people can fit inside…3:03 PM Nov 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
When you have 6171 Flickr pictures, going sequentially backwards can be a stunning perceptual-reset… *this* much closer to figuring me out…1:50 AM Nov 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
Hiccup, burn self with boiling ramen, realize I missed #the NoOn8 rally… I don’t say this often, but FAIL. And I still have the hiccups.5:52 PM Nov 7th, 2008from TwitterFox
If you chose B), congratulations… you were wrong, too. We really need a better sleep schedule.12:04 PM Nov 7th, 2008from TwitterFox
Hypothetically: say your girlfriend ALWAYS sleeps longer than you. Do you A) stay quiet hours on end B) wake gently C) just go back to sleep12:02 PM Nov 7th, 2008from TwitterFox
It doesn’t matter that my local grandpa’s collective helped me find the right wrench. This Model M keyboard is dead now. Sad face.1:05 AM Nov 7th, 2008from TwitterFox
Consider the rule that every idea implies its opposite. What effect do you think all the concentrated anti-gay praying will eventually have?4:14 PM Nov 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
Anyone who’s had a dinosaur named after them (Crichtonsaurus) has done good in my book. Resquiscat in pace, artifex celebrus.1:53 PM Nov 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
You weren’t always easy to love, Crichton; you took unpopular scientific positions and had odd tastes, but you made me strong with wonder.1:39 PM Nov 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
And no, I’ll never forget the bit in “Next” where he fictionalizes one of his critics then makes him a gay baby-pedophile with a micropenis.1:31 PM Nov 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’ll never forget the postulated intelligent bacteria in “Sphere,” caught in a human machine, which it concludes is a test meant for itself.1:17 PM Nov 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
Was there a one of you who did not feel a little more courageous, a little more centered, a little better tonight? If so txt and I’ll share.2:39 AM Nov 5th, 2008from txt
We just wanted to know where you were cause we’re going out soon, prolly to Pirate Cat.1:46 AM Nov 5th, 2008from txt
It’d be hard to overestimate how much San Fran likes this guy judging by the number of times I’ve called back his name to strangers tonight.11:39 PM Nov 4th, 2008from txt
Dear @pmcsf: I have heard the bad news and want to tell you that it’s not over. There are many more disgusting things than poop.9:55 PM Nov 4th, 2008from txt
The exciting and eccentric Mission superego has made a comeback from its long winter, right here at Pirate Cat Radio.9:11 PM Nov 4th, 2008from txt
The air fills with victorious trumpets and shouts of joy, adults skip down the street chanting and laughing, yelling their champion’s name.8:18 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ok, there is quite a lot of shouting and car honking and I KNOW there’s no world series the Giants are in.8:04 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
My Quebeçois friend is getting bored and wants to know when California will finally close the pools.7:49 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m glad that percentages only ever get this exciting once every four years. Virginia: 49.8% for Obama to 49.3% for that other one!7:11 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Breaking news! This just in: Orin Zebest now projects that San Francisco and everyone he likes will vote for Barack Obama!6:51 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Even though it almost surely won’t last, there’s an undeniable joy in seeing Alabama, Texas, and West Virginia turn blue.5:30 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
If the Sheehan-mobile went “AOOGAH!” instead of simply cranking its crummy RV radio up to 11 I’d feel worse about not voting for her.3:51 PM Nov 4th, 2008from twhirl
Indiana polls closing… less than 10 minutes… guys, are you excited? You excited yet? WE’RE GETTING EXCITED.2:53 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Here’s something weird, though: the “I Voted” stickers in SF include Chinese, which should translate as ??—but mine has 2 extra sinographs…12:22 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Line was about a dozen long, took 10 minutes to drop off 2 ballots. Nice having the place be two blocks away. ¡Ya Voté! #votereport12:15 PM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
It’s weird being a Democrat and voting for the presumed winner. That’s never happened for me.11:13 AM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Fact is, I know only one American NOT voting for #Obama. He’s in Missouri, unfortunately, and it’s a toss-up state. We’ll see about that.12:48 AM Nov 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
I just wanna let you all know that even though I’ve been tweet-fasting lately, I fully intend to be hollering with the best of you tomorrow.7:14 PM Nov 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Leeeetle bit worried about that electrical cord (the one I drilled a hole in) that’s still up on the roof.4:05 PM Nov 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
The good choice now is to stay inside and pretend November is only one week long. We’ll be dropping off our ballots tomorrow.3:02 PM Nov 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Think I may have permanently scalded off some of my thumb-hair while finishing up that giant metal cabinet. It’s… a long story.1:11 AM Nov 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Very pleased at my apparent decision to avoid Nanowrimo this year. Writer? I hardly knew ‘er! Ha hahaHA! I wanna job.2:25 PM Nov 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Woooo!!!! I’m caught in a space-time loop! Double existence folding backwards on me! (Eat your riboflavin, kids.)1:37 AM Nov 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
This might be the perfect day for a series of scientific debates. I’ve prepared for Wonderfest with 3 pens and a blank notebook.12:01 PM Nov 1st, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh lord… she’s putting on the rabbit-skin pants. It’s like having a centaur girlfriend, except without the smell.4:15 PM Oct 31st, 2008from twhirl
Current plans include a performance of Batboy in Alameda and a street party in Richmond with the Neverwas. Et toi? Y tu? Und Sie? And you?2:57 PM Oct 31st, 2008from TwitterFox
Give it up for Paul! Paul will be going home, as it were, with a 40 of Mickeys and three bags of pre-sorted recycling. Much love to ya, man.9:51 PM Oct 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
Said metal cabinet was procured from the basement of a goldrush-era house & brought upstairs w/ help from one of our helpful local homeless.9:46 PM Oct 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
Scraping the shit outta this giant metal cabinet I got off Craigslist, listening to animal sounds recorded on vinyl. Good times.9:38 PM Oct 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
“Always check the subject line. Always DOUBLE check the subject line. What’d I tell you!?” -career counselor, if they actually knew anything3:47 PM Oct 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
There’s a hiring freeze at Salvation Army. Roll that off your tongue just once. Hiring freeze at Salvation Army.5:17 PM Oct 27th, 2008from TwitterFox
Sometimes I get annoyed when bums refuse to ask me for money, but then I remember, hey! …I don’t have any damn money!3:55 PM Oct 27th, 2008from txt
The Sakai greenhouses in Richmond, long abandoned but still growing, are scheduled to become condos. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.5:34 PM Oct 26th, 2008from txt
Abandoned greenhouses? A model railroad club only open on Sunday? This adventure feels like it should have dinosaurs.1:32 PM Oct 26th, 2008from TwitterFox
Few ever advise what to do if you feel underqualified to vote on something. I don’t fully comprehend Prop 12—therefore, me not vote it.11:39 PM Oct 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
To clarify: SFBG thinks G.W. Bush is “insulting” to our plant. Scrutinizing each item makes me feel like a proud little citizen.7:16 PM Oct 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
I can no longer trust the SF Guardian based on their illogical non-support of Prop R. Researching contest-by-contest with pen in hand.5:51 PM Oct 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
I have been shoehorned & conscripted into a late-night Wienerschnitzel run. Things bode slightly worse for my project’s completion.10:14 PM Oct 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
It’s not the most elegant little roof nest, but the moon sure looks pretty out here… the 60 watt CFL moon.9:38 PM Oct 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
Although drilling a hole in the extension cord isn’t an ideal laptop on the roof scenario, it works. Pfft… “money and a room of your own.”7:37 PM Oct 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
When Obama wins I’ll have a job and health insurance and fellowship in an inspired Democratic base. Until then… West Wing reruns.4:22 PM Oct 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
Skills I have: interacting with the public, web design and administration, many others. Skills I lack: getting out of the house before 4.4:09 PM Oct 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
In the dream, those letterpress drawers are recursive miniatures of each floor, and moving a single slat changes whole rooms.2:04 PM Oct 24th, 2008from twhirl
In the dream, the fish tanks line the walls of all four stories in the kingdom.2:00 PM Oct 24th, 2008from twhirl
You know what my problem is? I’m not forgiving enough. It’s been 3 months. I need to forget… that I was FIRED FOR CHANGING DESKTOP WALLPAPER…11:35 PM Oct 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
10-23-07! Never Forget! OiNK, R.I.P. Too many good places have we lost, friends. When pigs fly indeed… #oink #anniversary4:26 AM Oct 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m my girlfriend’s mail bitch. It’s actually a much more pleasant gig than my last job as a shipping clerk. Go figure.8:48 PM Oct 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
I don’t know what most men are complaining about when HE shaves HIS face with HER leg razor, it seems to me they’re just… OWWWW.2:58 PM Oct 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
How fascinated am I at the notion that Carl’s Jr. is hiring PhDs instead of me, just because PhD looks better on a résumé? Very fascinated…1:27 AM Oct 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Here’s hoping folks at UCSF give points for cleverly circumventing their Kobayashi Maru job application.11:23 PM Oct 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
For the record: generally not necessary to heavily JPG-compress your black-n-white unaliased Verdana title banner. Must supress nerd-froth……10:21 PM Oct 20th, 2008from twhirl
The toughest part of web-form job applications is overcoming the powerful need to scold piss-poor design. Oh, nevermind—no email link.10:15 PM Oct 20th, 2008from twhirl
I don’t care if forks ? knives; forks ? spoons either @panavatar. You wanna turn my hindbrain into a tinebrain? Stop throwing ‘em then.6:18 PM Oct 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
Recently, I’ve been getting into floatation tanks. Wondering if I have any consciousness-minded friends so I can get into a floatation tank.4:44 PM Oct 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
Such behavior is especially evident when said company are the same people responsible for that upbringing. Folks, you still read my tweets?11:59 AM Oct 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
My middle-class upbringing causes me to do some strange things. Like clean and tidy and vacuum before company comes over. I blame the media.11:36 AM Oct 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ten resumes dispatched into the world today! Glad to say that only one is a confirmed paper airplane conversion…5:55 PM Oct 16th, 2008from txt
Another one of my favorite apartment games, especially late at night: Will This Require Pants?3:27 AM Oct 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh friends, next time you have me cornered, ask me to tell the tale of the scalding hot garbage-water bath.12:10 AM Oct 16th, 2008from twhirl
Why do you like you’re running mate, McCain? **Blink, blink, blink** That, my friends, is called a tell. #current #mccain6:44 PM Oct 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Imma make a red white and blue t-shirt from the fabric of Democracy that tells people to get off my lawn. Sorry, curmudgeon-lovers. #current6:41 PM Oct 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Negative ad discussion summary: “No, you’ve been throwing spitballs!” “No, you!” “Spitball thrower!” #current6:32 PM Oct 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Neato! Plugin got approved for hosting at WordPress.org. I feel so smart. Now, to upload to the svn… uh… upload to… Subversion works how?…3:09 PM Oct 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Things I didn’t know… the word “plankton” has an opposite: nekton. Both coined by scientific illustrator Ernst Haeckel. Art has power.9:37 PM Oct 14th, 2008from TwitterFox
What I’d give to be a garbageman, a janitor, the men’s room attendant for a dirty movie theater in this town. Anything.5:47 PM Oct 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
One always wonders with evolution. What if trilobytes had lived? What if 60s-era German lounge had birthed funk, instead of James Brown?3:52 PM Oct 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
Twitter only allows so many ancient pageloads per while, and Last.fm never scrobbled the songs. Guess I’m a meme vector cause I just FAILed.2:58 PM Oct 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
When I lost my hostel job in January, I left behind a 4 hour power-gypsy playlist—now I’m cross-checking Last.fm and Twitter to get it back…1:07 PM Oct 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
The Mission is already such a large and influential district no one blinks calling it “Mission Indie Mart” even though it’s in Potrero.6:52 PM Oct 12th, 2008from txt
Poopcake aside, in all seriousness, the thing that I truly adore about craft fairs is how many nerdy sexy self-reliant people show up.3:09 PM Oct 12th, 2008from txt
Two weeks ago, my girlfriend glazed a ceramic monkey. Today, I finally got to use “would you like to pet my monkey?” in conversation.2:30 PM Oct 12th, 2008from txt
“Bierocks for Barack,” empanadas for the cause. Say whatever you want–the man has a solidly marketable name.1:56 PM Oct 12th, 2008from txt
I’ve never been sure of the etiquette involved in offering to hold/restrain the children of strangers.1:51 PM Oct 12th, 2008from txt
The irony of swatting away real flies from your dog poop and fake fly cupcakes is not lost on me. Ah, craft fairs.12:50 PM Oct 12th, 2008from txt
Polishing up my password plugin, watching Star Trek TNG, and learning some lessons: sometimes, they’re *both* B-plots.6:12 PM Oct 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
Shut up, neighborhood political advocate. I don’t care who you want me to vote for supervisor. I’m voting @Bartlet this time.4:19 PM Oct 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
“My problem with the Scopes Monkey Trial is, was, and always will be this: there were never any monkeys ON TRIAL.” Please, @nonsequitur?2:57 PM Oct 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
“Between you and me: BUFFY’S NOT GAY!!!” I gotta start a Twitter account of my girlfriend’s non sequiturs.8:52 PM Oct 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ugh. 22nd-century me drank the electro-metastasizing juice in my dream last night, and now I’m having multiple viewpoint withdrawls.2:23 PM Oct 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
Unfortunately, at Chicken John’s art show featuring his campaign paperwork, I still couldn’t find the 10¢ contribution discrepancy.9:37 PM Oct 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
* DHL man delivers package * Me: “This is not the computer warranty component I’m looking for.”1:43 PM Oct 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
Goodbye, beaten, ugly, broke-ass street chair. Outta my bedroom & back from whence you came. Hello, better-ass chair. You smell like lilacs.6:17 PM Oct 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
I find myself eating ramen again, and I wonder, “why would someone want to make *this* their staple?” Then I remember… North Korea.5:43 PM Oct 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
Just kidding… that was yesterday, updating my résumé. WordPress plugins are really kinda fun to make.3:26 PM Oct 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
Since starting to write a WordPress plugin today, 100 baby angels have died from all my cursing.3:26 PM Oct 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
They said the wounds would heal. They said I’d get over it. Three years later, I still hate CSUMB with a burning, fierce vengeance.7:19 PM Oct 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
Home recording, demonstration, spectacular, “…and the [word intensifier]s,” Moog, olde tyme, fart & dinosaur. What do these have in common?…9:40 PM Oct 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Grudgingly, I admit that I love a woman who relentlessly calls me on things like misspelling “Tourette’s,” gee golly fartknocker.7:47 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
No, no, don’t take the bait, Biden! You can’t look smarter than her, or people will think your head is too pointy! #current #biden7:24 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from Election 2008
Grudgingly, I admit that I love a woman who has Midwest housewife turrets (gosh darn gee willikers hoy McCoy…) #current #vpdebate7:16 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Presidential campaigns have a long tradition of mainstreaming flubs. “Normalcy” for “normality,” “subliminable,” and of course “noo-q-lurr.”6:57 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from Election 2008
What are some causes of climate change, candidates? Perhaps “the anthropocene,” our #current period of geologic history.6:32 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from Election 2008
Sometimes I think I keep tweeting just so I can go back later and figure out where it all went horrifically wrong. For my memoirs.3:18 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Like the country song says, some days you just feel like a Sunday paper on a Thursday morning. Not me, not today, not that that song exists……2:38 PM Oct 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
“Just glazing my monkey, that’s all.” @Panavatar was born to tweet. What is WRONG with her? Doesn’t she know how adorably random she is?11:11 PM Oct 1st, 2008from TwitterFox
Star Trek forces me to ask whether aliens could evolve without the concept of “pleasure.” My sexy exobiologist verdict: palm, meet face.7:12 PM Sep 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
My left eye is doing that twitchy thing again. Why are the street lights to the east getting brighter all of a sudden?5:58 AM Sep 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
Was Leo Strauss right in believing that Western Liberalism only leads to Nihilism? I don’t really care.10:11 PM Sep 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
Good morning! Today is a good… oh. Today is gonna be one of those Hawaiian sorta timezone days, huh. Friggin’ Hawaii.5:09 PM Sep 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
There are 178 words for rain in the Ferengi language, but *none* for crispy. I know this because someone’s trying to cheer me up. It worked.4:54 PM Sep 27th, 2008from TwitterFox
Scratch that. Screw everyone who wants to go to CAS. The line stretches around the concourse just for a “designated access pass.”2:44 PM Sep 27th, 2008from txt
For those looking for car entry to Cal Academy of Sciences, the northwest passage is open. Stop and smell the Rose Garden on the way there.2:12 PM Sep 27th, 2008from txt
I’m glad I’ve finally reached a point in my life where my hair requires ZERO work to get that “science-y” look for free museum day.12:07 PM Sep 27th, 2008from TwitterFox
We got our own drinking game. When someone says “economy!” I apply for a job—and take a drink! Then another! Then start drinking!10:44 PM Sep 26th, 2008from twhirl
Guess what I found at the dump’s art show—a bookcase! Guys? Guys, where’d you go? Isn’t it neat about my bookcase? Wanna debate my bookcase?…10:05 PM Sep 26th, 2008from twhirl
…unless you’re gonna be funny about it. Then be as mean as you want. Looks like non-sequiters using “Ahmadinejad” are a good bet. #debate08…9:46 PM Sep 26th, 2008from twhirl
I want you to know that I read all your tweets. This debate things has been hard on me, so next time, if you have nothing nice to say, STFU.9:32 PM Sep 26th, 2008from TwitterFox
Pancakes for dinner & tea for dessert & a nice long write-sit & I feel good & happy & alive & I still don’t have a job & that sucks.2:28 AM Sep 26th, 2008from twhirl
What do I get for finally calling the landlord to fix a broken drain? If it wasn’t where the raccoon died, it’s certainly where it suffered.6:50 PM Sep 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
I think the stink from the fink was linked to pink ink but thankfully he blinked, rethinked, and she stayed out of the clink.4:34 PM Sep 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
For an hour, I was looking for someone who even mildly resembled her. Her freak flag (pink-colored today) flies too high for doppelgängers.4:20 PM Sep 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
Security at Cosco thought my woman stole Zigzags from the cigarette cage. 2 things: we don’t smoke; she’s a ceramicist. She can make pipes.4:13 PM Sep 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ok, angry and frustrated and broke and disillusioned and tired. Not actually sick (knock on wood).8:56 PM Sep 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
At least I tried to get out of the house. Boy, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. It’s not a good color on me (and I love colors).8:44 PM Sep 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
Note to self: don’t read BonigBoing then Wikileaks.org. Makes me paranoid. Especially since I have AT&T internet. Hi there, NSA!12:07 AM Sep 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
A little bike jaunt to return these (fully read) library books ought to lift those spirits, eh? Cause that’s the plan, so shut up.4:53 PM Sep 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Recently completed, and recommended: Cory Doctorow’s “Overclocked,” a short story collection, and “Captain Raptor and the …4:52 PM Sep 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
The tabs are there to remind you what you’ve been trying to do lately. When there are too many for words, only icons staring back, do them.4:10 PM Sep 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Drunk and cleaning. You know, in some countries they ingest mind-altering substances in order to do MORE work—I guess the Homeostasicrat …9:52 PM Sep 22nd, 2008from twhirl
Girlfriend had a suprise day trip for me today, and it went “choo choo!”2:28 PM Sep 21st, 2008from txt
Arr the freeleech be nigh over soon, and… oh, that day ended two days ago. Don’t wanna change icons.5:48 AM Sep 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
How stringent are ye olde Society of Creative Anachronism? Must one be consistently anachronistic, or is “Jehoshaphat” now and again enough?8:54 PM Sep 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
Hoy hoy! There be folk still in this wide world who dial wrong numbers? Was just myself thinking we’d edited that out in post.8:16 PM Sep 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
I remember those days, long gone, when DDOS was something that only happened to sites people didn’t like. No more.5:20 PM Sep 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
Ahoy! Th’ torrents, they will flood, an’ th’ ship, it scrapes; there be bounty to be had. 11 albums and counting.4:57 PM Sep 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
For th’ rest o’ yous, “Talk Like a Pirate Day” comes but once a year. For fine folks of my caliber on What.cd it be a lifestyle.3:37 PM Sep 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
We have battered the fine ship What.cd beyond gentlemanly conduct, and she is taking on FAIL like a harlot in Freetown that’s nigh swabbed.3:08 PM Sep 19th, 2008from web
We rise with the tides, @panavatar! Ye scurvy dog, how dare ye mumble “pirate day’s easier on the internet” like that be a sorta excuse!2:44 PM Sep 19th, 2008from web
Mastering my recording of Jascha + Jascha’s band at Philz. With the way things are going, I’ll be a paid audio engineer in 7 months.9:44 PM Sep 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
“Change comes from within,” says the axiom. Spare change comes from the gubmint, it looks like. Trickle-down theory = THEY’RE PEEING ON YOU.7:53 PM Sep 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
Adamantly and nobly trying to ignore the banking industry shenanigans of late, I can’t help but notice that I’m still unemployed.7:51 PM Sep 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
Paying gig ahoy! For the next hour or so, I’ll be editing together bits of an Obama speech for a ringtone. Again, for money. Money money.10:02 PM Sep 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
That ride quickly turned into a scavenging fest. Oh, who am I kidding—I left with a backpack. Warm summer afternoons…8:00 PM Sep 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
Bike riding time! (this family-friendly tweet brought to you by Orin’s raging fear of disapproval.)6:05 PM Sep 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
More shutting yap later (my mother lurks my Twitter (Mom, don’t comment on me commenting on you lurking my Twitter)).4:10 PM Sep 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
Did you know that the right channel is always quieter in records because the outside groove is the one that pushes the needle? Didn’t hafta.12:01 PM Sep 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
The goal is to get the vinyl to make the green bars go up high without going over, while staying near each other. Obsolete skill in ~5-10.11:51 AM Sep 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
I thought I might not be “detail-oriented” enough for Kink.com, then I realized I’ve spent the past 3 days fussing over treble variance.11:27 AM Sep 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Awoken with ‘Inspector Gadget’ pounding full volume inside my head. So, it’s gonna be one of those days…10:20 AM Sep 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Mission tip: Sunday is the best day for sidewalk finds, before the street cleaning Gestapo have their way with things.11:59 PM Sep 14th, 2008from TwitterFox
My neighborhood wants me to know that it’s like, hella nice outside. HELLA hella dude. Who says the streets can’t talk?4:33 PM Sep 14th, 2008from TwitterFox
I totally understand those Sweet Valley kids now. This babysitting can be pretty fun. Even if the kid stays up past midnight(!).1:23 AM Sep 14th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m afraid the sudden pull or the, err… the “vacuum energy,” as it were, will knock off the record player’s power. Excuse found!7:02 PM Sep 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
“Hugo Winterhalter Goes Gypsy” Sha-ZAAM! They don’t make ‘em like they used to. No, really… this thing is old.6:31 PM Sep 13th, 2008from web
Cleaning day! That means I’m converting vinyl records to digital. Yes—I am easily distracted by neat projects.6:29 PM Sep 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
There’s an opening at The Armory. Damn, that’s an appealing job. Damn, 2257 rules are frightening. Planning on what to tell my mother now…6:10 PM Sep 12th, 2008from TwitterFox
Apply to all jobs you think you are qualified for. Especially if you are qualified to do a stop-motion short about anthropomorphic fruit.11:33 PM Sep 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
Contact seems such an appropriate movie to watch on a night like tonight. Large Hadron Collider: Sagan approved. Starring Matt McConaughey.1:27 AM Sep 10th, 2008from TwitterFox
In an instant we could find out on YouTube. But it’s better to try and recall the theme from Tailspin by singing it wrong… many, many times…2:15 AM Sep 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
Wait, I went to Sacramento today? Something about this pride-suppressant I’m taking to help me find a job must be screwing with me.11:57 PM Sep 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
Somehow I lost a few hours. Vague memories of driving in a confusing place, and now my printer is different. A lot more books here too.11:42 PM Sep 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
Let’s be clear, fast food vendors, we all want a job that “makes us smile,” but few want to be contractually obligated to do so.1:25 PM Sep 8th, 2008from txt
Hate when I do that… accidentally applied to a job scam again. At least they write me back.11:36 AM Sep 8th, 2008from TwitterFox
I always have to get in at least one good joke at Bad Movie Night. Tonight, it was Julia Roberts starring in “Boys Don’t Cry.”10:59 PM Sep 7th, 2008from txt
The sun on my face, the wind in my hair… this roof thing could get to be a habit. I think Johnny Cash used to sing about not having these.6:32 PM Sep 7th, 2008from TwitterFox
Watching the stars come out, looking for jobs. I’m trying to convince myself this activity isn’t always unpleasant. It’s working.8:03 PM Sep 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
As the sun sets, the laptop boots. I ? non-standard rooftop activities.7:12 PM Sep 6th, 2008from web
A good trip to the public library usually includes that precious moment when I whip out my hand-me-down WinXP laptop in a sea of new iBooks.5:37 PM Sep 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
I tempted fate and somebody else just got shot in the damn neighborhood. Yet another reason for my mother to worry. Damn heat.4:52 AM Sep 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
Just once I wish windbags at community centers would stop to think if, in fact, “young children will accidentally get shot in the crossfire”12:14 AM Sep 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
So what, the president of Hell’s Angels SF branch got killed a block away Tues. That’s not scary for ME; that’s scary for rival biker gangs.12:01 AM Sep 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
It’s so quaint how older people (like, say, my parents) think that if the neighborhood’s dangerous that somehow makes it less attractive.11:32 PM Sep 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
Dude, the Mexican kid downstairs is a badass rubix cube solver. In other news, I retreived what I threw into our shared courtyard yesterday.4:11 PM Sep 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
It’s so fun when my brother is here. He’s the master of the one-man wave (a.k.a. falling backwards out of an office chair).8:20 PM Sep 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Hey, isn’t that my brother standing outside my apartment? Where’s his car? Doesn’t he live 50 miles away?7:26 PM Sep 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Precita Park: the best SF park for dogs and for people to get hit in the head. And free wireless (bless you, kindly 2WIRE677).6:49 PM Sep 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Lose a hard drive… recover a hard drive! Download a hard drive—get your hosting account suspended. Typical (he said, in best C-3PO voice)…12:40 PM Sep 3rd, 2008from web
Dammit. Whomever is shooting their gun, you can stop now… we’re trying to watch the first Ferengi episode over here.10:30 PM Sep 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Wow, I had no idea that Windows still came with Telnet. Or that the telnet app was so shitty.7:11 PM Sep 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Ahh! Motrher-ffoooouuuck ›—› you can’t just!!!!! ššžŸœ ¦ ¤¦Á¼Þݼ»¹¦ (8 stupid!) ROUTER you will plz DIE NOW¿?¿6:57 PM Sep 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Pro: the hard disk recovery worked! Con: I have upwards of 15000 photos to download via FTP. Here they come now… they’re coming… little more…3:19 PM Sep 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
I won’t imply that the world itself is cynical, merely lots of people in it. People like the United States Postal Service.6:06 PM Aug 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
I don’t begrudge cynics. There’s a certain pleasure in having one’s expectations met. That’s why songs rhyme.6:02 PM Aug 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
Whoa! Last Action Hero, Bad Movie Night, has distorted my reality perception. For @panavatar it’s even worse—Arnie’s butt looks cute to her…11:43 PM Aug 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
Crazy! There’s some sort of Desert Fest thing going on in Nevada, and now there’s, like, tons of parking!4:19 PM Aug 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
The bullets outside sounded like firecrackers. The drunk yuppies walking through the crime scene were weirder than the crime.1:17 AM Aug 24th, 2008from TwitterFox
The night has become more interesting with a trip to the nicest-smelling community garden on Potrero Hill.10:04 PM Aug 23rd, 2008from txt
In other news, my Saturday is passing slowly… in case you missed me napping and geotagging. By the way, I’m ready to be employed now.9:24 PM Aug 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m signing up for Panoramio for the simple fact that most of those suckas can’t tell AT&T park from a high school. Misplaced? HELLZ YEAH.9:13 PM Aug 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh lord, I needed that nap. That couch? I didn’t need that couch. Younz have to warn me next time I’m about to do that.6:41 PM Aug 23rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Craigslist is a lot more fun when you’re emailing people in Free and not Rejection Central. Did I say “Rejection Central?” I meant Jobs.2:21 PM Aug 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
My poor fingers got so abused by that nasty, spiky, previously-electrified vagina today (usage note: ‘vagina’ funnier word than ‘vulva’).12:33 AM Aug 22nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Attempting (and failing) to help @tyrsalvia move her gigantic, unweildy, rusted metal vulva. This is what teenage dreams are not made of.7:13 PM Aug 21st, 2008from txt
No one needs to point out things which make me a hipster. I’m young, white, and live in The Mission. That’s enough.4:13 PM Aug 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
The hardest part of the neighbors carrying a couch down the stairs is listening to them talk about how awesome Dave Matthews is.4:01 PM Aug 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
Sometimes I get real angry thinking about what’s still illegal. Like owning ferrets. Big Lebowski: “Nice marmot,” said The Dude, knowingly.2:18 PM Aug 21st, 2008from TwitterFox
The hardest part of moving out that old futon is accepting that you *will* fall down the stairs once or twice.4:39 PM Aug 20th, 2008from twhirl
There’s something really comforting about the sound a q-tip box makes when you shake it. Especially after a bad day.4:23 AM Aug 20th, 2008from TwitterFox
My own simulation confirms that if humanity continues a destructive path robots WILL take over one day. And by “simulation” I mean SimEarth.1:13 AM Aug 19th, 2008from TwitterFox
Looking at public FCC docs to discern placement of vital mouse innards is a great way to spend an afternoon… in heck.1:26 PM Aug 18th, 2008from TwitterFox
Find glasses… they’re… oof, on the floor now. Why is my scroll wheel borked? And my FTP didn’t work. This sucks. Come back, @germinator!11:14 AM Aug 18th, 2008from web
The primary lesson I’m taking in here is that filmmaking is way too expensive for it’s own good. #diydays2:09 PM Aug 17th, 2008from txt
No minidiscs in the Sony Store?! Guys, if you aren’t gonna sell em who will? You can’t just rely on Japan to hold out forever! #lost #format12:55 PM Aug 17th, 2008from txt
Me? Dressed at 10:30? This DIYDays thing is free, but with registration. That’s how they suck you in.10:30 AM Aug 17th, 2008from TwitterFox
The last dinner with @germinator is officially over. It’s always sad when friends leave the country, even if they ARE excellent GChatters.9:47 PM Aug 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
Mission not accomplished. Nude beach to gray for nudity; everyone left. I brought my rainbow swim trunks for nuthin’.7:37 PM Aug 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
Hm. This is unexpected. I haven’t the slightest idea what I should be wearing to a nude beach.2:00 PM Aug 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
Even though Jascha Ephraim wrote me about that video I put on teh interwebs, I’m not gonna fanboy. I’ve learned my lesson… JASCHA EPHRAIM!1:51 AM Aug 16th, 2008from TwitterFox
What’s that? You say you wanna do something on a Friday night, girlfriend? Why am I not surprised that includes mandatory ice cream…10:17 PM Aug 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Geosetter: when you don’t want to look like a dick by tagging your photo of Alcatraz on the Ross Ice Shelf.7:41 PM Aug 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Great. I just spent the last ten minutes of my life hoisting a gadget 9 feet in the air and waiting patiently. Thanks, @photojojo.7:18 PM Aug 15th, 2008from TwitterFox
Lots of satisfaction can be had carefully curating your Flickr stream, but it’s just one of those dreams. You always have to keep running.5:29 PM Aug 15th, 2008from twhirl
The muscles of my left eye are stronger than my right, resulting from the fact that when I was ten I thought a twitch would be funny.2:36 PM Aug 14th, 2008from TwitterFox
My poor friend @germinator. He thinks last night’s drinking adventure where he ended up sleeping on his boss’ couch isn’t worth Twittering!10:43 PM Aug 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
My Albany Bulb pictures have been with me too long. I’m sending them away. Look at them, don’t look at them, here they are: http://x.se/pncv5:13 PM Aug 13th, 2008from web
Every time I eat chicken pot pie, it makes me nostalgic for college. Or maybe that’s just Starvation’s way of saying “fine, not today, lad…”…2:46 PM Aug 13th, 2008from TwitterFox
Z.com, Nissan Z: “Last letter. First name in performance.” Once again, the ones with the most money have the least idea how to use it.11:21 PM Aug 12th, 2008from TwitterFox
You can never go home again. Especially if you go there via Google Earth, and they’ve ripped out all the date palms.1:28 PM Aug 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
In the dream, I wake up and there’s no tweets to read. 68 is not none. #dream11:31 AM Aug 11th, 2008from web
In my universe, it makes perfect sense that I should have the theme from Goldfinger stuck in my head after watching Waterworld.12:31 AM Aug 11th, 2008from TwitterFox
Whenever switching from contacts to glasses, things tend to get a foot or so further away. I’m practically blind. No, really.8:01 PM Aug 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
Our home network is now open and free, or unsecured and vulnerable, depending on whom you ask. I say @rhiannononon is able to watch TV now.5:53 PM Aug 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m imagining a far-reaching “craft network” which, at a moments notice, will be able to drop candle-making supplies anywhere there’s need.5:02 PM Aug 9th, 2008from txt
Guy at Scrap asked me if I’d rather be “off the grid” when making a donation. Two questions: why? and did I just ruin their system?4:42 PM Aug 9th, 2008from txt
Return to Oz was whimsical and I’m sad I didn’t see it as a youth. Beetlejuice has aged well. Ditched out from Feebles tho—still frightened…1:59 AM Aug 9th, 2008from TwitterFox
is about to enjoy some Antarctic photography as it’s never been enjoyed before… with Werner Herzog: Encounters At The toolongtotweet.8:58 PM Aug 6th, 2008from txt
If someone whom you wrote a blog about… err, GLOT about emails you, and you write back, and it’s 4 months later, do you still have a shot?1:46 PM Aug 6th, 2008from TwitterFox
My favorite part about my girlfriend’s velcro skirt is… wait, why am I sitting here typing?11:22 PM Aug 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
Sometimes the desire to escape Craigslist job postings is so powerful I involuntarily twitch. Not that there’s a voluntary twitch, I guess.10:03 PM Aug 5th, 2008from web
As of right now, I have attained the status of a What.cd POWER USER. Orin WINS the INTERNET!5:10 PM Aug 5th, 2008from web
“I like how you use this website just to advertise what you’re doing at the moment,” said cousin. See, you don’t need to *explain* Twitter.3:41 PM Aug 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
Don’t tell the dozens of shady characters in my neighborhood that I’m watching t.A.t.U. videos. I… really can’t explain the appeal.4:13 AM Aug 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
You really wanna tell aliens what it means to be human? Just annotate the movie “Baraka” with Wikipedia links already. Less banal sci-fi!12:10 AM Aug 5th, 2008from TwitterFox
In other countries they let their 20 year-olds drink. I’m really glad someone got some use out of my old ID; looking at you QUEBEC.11:32 PM Aug 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Bike rides to the library to return world music usually include trips to the burrito store. And so we live, and so we have lived…9:44 PM Aug 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
Listen female, me sneezing only deserves a casual “bless you,” not this “you just sneezed! ARE YOU OK!??!1!” stuff.7:09 PM Aug 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
My bilocating goat named Dimetrodon taught me the zen of humanity by hanging out with every family in the village at once. #dream12:57 PM Aug 4th, 2008from TwitterFox
It’s quarter to noon: time for brunch! My bike still doesn’t have handle grips so here’s hoping I can remove my hands from the bar later.11:48 AM Aug 3rd, 2008from TwitterFox
Wow, McLaren Park is a campground if all the rangers went on strike for two years.4:49 PM Aug 2nd, 2008from txt
You know, it actually is quite bizarre that I am compelled to clean when I’m mad at someone Thanks, upbringing.1:51 PM Aug 2nd, 2008from TwitterFox
Sunset on my rooftop, and a cup of tea while watching the neighborhood below. Truly, who must be *taught* contemplation?8:34 PM Aug 1st, 2008from TwitterFox
Miracle Fruit’s sweetener is illegal in the States. Under the fruity influence, the urge to kill just to taste someone’s juices is… strong…2:08 PM Jul 31st, 2008from TwitterFox
You know, overall, I feel that everyone on Twitter had a pretty good day yesterday. Keep up the good work folks.1:47 AM Jul 31st, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m 0.35 GB away from honorary power-usership on my favoritest music tracker, What.CD. I can practically taste it. Nerd… cred… nerd… cred……10:49 PM Jul 30th, 2008from TwitterFox
On borrowed tire pressure and with no handle grips, I shall attempt to make the Fail Whale Pale Ale party. This is gonna work or it’s gonna……8:13 PM Jul 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
Oh, dood… is this what spiderwebs congeal to? Gummy-tack? And on the handles, no less. There must be some harsh chemical solvent for this.7:55 PM Jul 29th, 2008from web
Pfft! High gas prices aren’t enough to make me stop driving. We’re in ‘Merica, dammit. But having good parking? Hello, bicycle! Except…7:54 PM Jul 29th, 2008from web
Someone tell the group of drunk mariachi bands in my backyard that I am NOT going to clean up any more puke this week. Friggin’ Mission.6:41 PM Jul 29th, 2008from web
See what I did there? Instead of saying “I just moved the car cause of street clean” I made a broader observation. See how it works Homepie?10:11 AM Jul 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
When you live in the city and drive a car, it means you plan your life around street cleaning days. Be at peace with this. Ommmm…10:05 AM Jul 29th, 2008from TwitterFox
I am recent witness to a ride-by twittering while biking incident. “That’s not 140!” he yammered, the whole time spitting in Death’s eye.8:07 PM Jul 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
“Stupid shoes are stupid!” A more permeating syllogism was hardly ever spoke, dear LOLgirlfriend. Now: FoodsCo, ho!6:56 PM Jul 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
Speaking of, remind me to use that great analogy about representation of homosexual mexican punk rockers in the orange county zine scene.6:47 PM Jul 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
Girlfriend says that the only Russian vegan comedy club in the city is “closed for renovations.” It is a sad day for excessive adjectives.6:31 PM Jul 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
From now on “kipper snacks” will be my personal codeword for “meal of burrito.” Ask me how my day’s going. I dare you.4:54 PM Jul 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
Should I worry that so many power poles in my neighborhood are loudly crackling? And people thought it was silly to buy a wireless keyboard……2:46 AM Jul 28th, 2008from TwitterFox
There was also a Blackula/zombie/skeleton and the magic word “Cinzanum.” I need to keep a pen near bedside; this doesn’t belong on Twitter.2:21 PM Jul 27th, 2008from TwitterFox
I’m dreaming of The Venture Brothers parachuting into a Nebraska tornado and finding The One Ring and… guy outside, plz stop puking so loud!…2:18 PM Jul 27th, 2008from TwitterFox
Drinking is fun! Stay in school, kids. That way you can enjoy “The Breakfast Club” someday. That concludes our summarizing tweet.1:27 AM Jul 27th, 2008from Hahlo
Anyone else ever connected headphones to the front port, just to hear the odd sounds computers make when they think we’re not listening? No?6:06 PM Jul 26th, 2008from TwitterFox
I don’t have art syndrome yet. Next time I’ll eat some papyrus with the elixir of the Gods on it, the kind found on Haight. Next time.2:42 PM Jul 26th, 2008from txt
You know that syndrome people get when they are exposed to a huge amount of fine art, and become overwhelmed with their own insignificance?2:41 PM Jul 26th, 2008from txt
Preemptively entering “Rosicrucian’ into T9, cause cell phone designers are racist.12:17 PM Jul 26th, 2008from txt
Get to go to the Rosicrucian museum tomorrow. Yay! We leave at 9:00 am. Oh. Morpheus, you fickle traitor.5:22 AM Jul 26th, 2008from TwitterFox
Take, transfer, import, pick, order, prune, tweak, title+tag, upload. That is the order of processing Flickrpix for public consumption.1:59 PM Jul 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
Of course, girlfriend is eager to inform me that I yelled “so I hear you are looking for squid!! Where is your squid?!”1:23 PM Jul 25th, 2008from TwitterFox
Orinz
