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Twitter Archives

The invention of hair gel (pomade) was inspired by anatomical investigations of bird preen glands – True/False/#shitorinsays?

What weird-ass part of the world are you from where it’s called a MONOBROW?! I’m offended. #shitorinsays

This goddamn sandwich tastes like The American Dream. #shitorinsays

Is tactical glitter a thing yet? #shitorinsays

I don’t care, I am NOT shaving my knuckles for any woman, and that’s final! #shitorinsays

Do they make fat suits in child-size? #shitorinsays

Is gluten-free technically a fetish? #shitorinsays

Do you have any idea how much more fun it is to mix cement while camping than it is to download Photoshop while camping? #shitorinsays

Are there any Star Treks about constramping? #shitorinsays

Joseph Smith, Peace Be Unto Him #shitorinsays

I will grognard and wait for fullness. #shitorinsays (makes perfect sense when you parse it)

The weather outside is really infinite today. #shitorinsays

Oy, my bacon! Time to look up bacon in The Joys of Yiddish. #shitorinsays

What’s up with this Cybersex Monday I keep hearing about? #shitorinsays

That’s the problem with Hindi-speakers: they don’t have a word for schmutz. #shitorinsays

I can’t believe I didn’t Instagram anything from Eastern Europe. I’m so disappointed in myself. #shitorinsays

I think people who don’t like Drambuie are being culturally insensitive. #shitorinsays

Let’s splurge and go by BART. #shitorinsays