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Monthly Archives: July 2015

“Despite all my rage, I am still just a [dick] in a [box].”

#MashingPumpkins

“Give up being free”

vs.

“Give up to be free”

(f’ing infinitives)

“The woman behind me in line totally used Hippie Bene Gesserit voice to get the Whole Foods checker to give me this ham for free.”

Two-word review of Jurassic World: “Aging Millennials”.

RT @sfslim: Nerds aren’t right just because they’re nerds. But they often have better processes for recognizing & correcting their own cogn…

@Tsaiberia It happened to me. I was told that just by having one I’m not able to sue, since there was “reasonable belief”.

•gender is performative
•race is performative
•age is performative
•sanity is performative
•political correctness is weird but true but ugh

WHAT IF PEOPLE IN THE PAST DIDN’T KNOW THIS WOULD BE READ AS YELLING STOP WHAT IF THEY JUST THOUGHT CASE WAS UNIMPORTANT STOP

living gods don’t not drink canned wine in the tub #ecstatic

My bay can eat your borough pic.twitter.com/tRFPMZ8LYl ht @nub, ht @bcrypt

🍎 apple of knowledge
🍇 grapes of wrath
🍄 mushroom of delirium
🍍 pineapple of welcoming
🍉 melon of expectoration
🍆 eggplant of tumescence

One time I went into a fugue state and played Duck Hunt for 5 hours. And then I won. Did you know you could win Duck Hunt? #shitlynaesays

@Shalaco *cough* Single fathers, triads+, children slaying their father and marrying their mother… *cough*

tfw you can’t discern an unfamiliar acronym

If the universe exists, what does that imply? Points will be awarded based on the creativity of your answer[s].

RT @SciencePorn: Simple formula for bringing back the dinosaurs pic.twitter.com/yrF7oCLMPQ

Longing to feel myself photosynthesize…
I’ve got water, air, and sunlight, I just can’t figure out the trick here

Guitar Hero et al, a.k.a. competitive player piano, a.k.a. mechanical music notation, a.k.a. original ideas are a myth

@tyrsalvia Hm, never had to say this literally before, but JUST GROW A BRAIN ALREADY

A reminder: parenthood is a Ponzi scheme (and if it didn’t work none of us would exist).

@bouncinglime I think that dude works out of my neighborhood. God bless America.

Doesn’t it ever bore you that most everything we eat is food?
Surprised no American has made a non-food diet. This nation used to innovate🍕😵

Gigapan Reaction Diffusion art, reminder that #deepdream is but one way to get computers to trip balls. gigapan.com/gigapans/166054

@xek 1-up: disco napping through Fourth of July in West Oakland (I did my xp grinding in the Mission though)

Happy America Day, have a big beautiful dick in the sky imgur.com/gallery/1gJ5VQZ

@RubixsQube I like to pretend sometimes that I’m not a person, since “person” comes from “persona”, meaning mask. Maybe I’m being too cool?

RT @projectid: THIS IS SO COOL! I WANT TO PLAY WITH IT! “@waxpancake: Gorgeous #deepdream animation: vimeo.com/132462576

@thetrudz Example? P.S. I’m white and trying to not get all my knowledge from hit comedy news shows.

I used to believe in @chickenjohn. Now I believe the world is rather more interesting & funny & terrible than that. instagram.com/p/4syTv0yV-N/

Today I am a loser. Today I am banned from #CampTipsy.