“Despite all my rage, I am still just a [dick] in a [box].”
Monthly Archives: July 2015
“Give up being free”
“Give up to be free”
“The woman behind me in line totally used Hippie Bene Gesserit voice to get the Whole Foods checker to give me this ham for free.”
Two-word review of Jurassic World: “Aging Millennials”.
RT: Nerds aren’t right just because they’re nerds. But they often have better processes for recognizing & correcting their own cogn…
It happened to me. I was told that just by having one I’m not able to sue, since there was “reasonable belief”.
•gender is performative
•race is performative
•age is performative
•sanity is performative
•political correctness is weird but true but ugh
WHAT IF PEOPLE IN THE PAST DIDN’T KNOW THIS WOULD BE READ AS YELLING STOP WHAT IF THEY JUST THOUGHT CASE WAS UNIMPORTANT STOP
living gods don’t not drink canned wine in the tub #ecstatic
My bay can eat your borough pic.twitter.com/tRFPMZ8LYl ht , ht
🍎 apple of knowledge
🍇 grapes of wrath
🍄 mushroom of delirium
🍍 pineapple of welcoming
🍉 melon of expectoration
🍆 eggplant of tumescence
One time I went into a fugue state and played Duck Hunt for 5 hours. And then I won. Did you know you could win Duck Hunt? #shitlynaesays
*cough* Single fathers, triads+, children slaying their father and marrying their mother… *cough*
tfw you can’t discern an unfamiliar acronym
If the universe exists, what does that imply? Points will be awarded based on the creativity of your answer[s].
Longing to feel myself photosynthesize…
I’ve got water, air, and sunlight, I just can’t figure out the trick here
Guitar Hero et al, a.k.a. competitive player piano, a.k.a. mechanical music notation, a.k.a. original ideas are a myth
Hm, never had to say this literally before, but JUST GROW A BRAIN ALREADY
A reminder: parenthood is a Ponzi scheme (and if it didn’t work none of us would exist).
I think that dude works out of my neighborhood. God bless America.
Doesn’t it ever bore you that most everything we eat is food?
Surprised no American has made a non-food diet. This nation used to innovate🍕😵
1-up: disco napping through Fourth of July in West Oakland (I did my xp grinding in the Mission though)
Happy America Day, have a big beautiful dick in the sky imgur.com/gallery/1gJ5VQZ
I like to pretend sometimes that I’m not a person, since “person” comes from “persona”, meaning mask. Maybe I’m being too cool?
Example? P.S. I’m white and trying to not get all my knowledge from hit comedy news shows.
I used to believe in instagram.com/p/4syTv0yV-N/. Now I believe the world is rather more interesting & funny & terrible than that.
Today I am a loser. Today I am banned from #CampTipsy.