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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Orin Zebest
Beloved Husbund, Etc.
1983 – 2187
“There wasn’t enough time.”

RT @NeinQuarterly: Be the German word for that highly specific thing you want a term for in the world.

@sonomabuzz Well, now I’m curious how much meditation you did before I was born…

@grumpyxek Penned to us all. But the fun part is figuring out *which* past selves were dumb, worthless miscreants, isn’it?

RT @discordianquote: Note to self: Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.…

@Rubin110 So it has always been; so it shall ever be.

@jeromegv Oh, crap. Maybe I shouldn’t have worked so hard to learn it.

@rachelannyes Being empowered is almost as bad as being disempowered.

@rachelannyes Keen observation can only get you so far. I mean, what the hell are we supposed to do about that?

Everything we do matters. Doesn’t that just piss you off sometimes?

No, it never gets easier. It only gets weirder. That’s ok: most people find they prefer weirder.

Don’t like Dubstep? Many don’t. That’s ok; not everyone enjoys feeling like a malfunctioning robot.

But your children will.

“My children, finally I am dying. But… my 99.999% reliable cloud backups…”


Later: “Sorry, this account was deleted for inactivity.”

Some days, one concludes the correct decision is only to proclaim:

fuck everything, I did something, even though nothing about it mattered.

Dear The Law,

re: delivery drones vs. surveillance drones

Is a rooftop private? Or does society get to know about every damn box I get?

“That’s why people come to see acrobats at a circus, to watch them fall, not to watch them stay perfectly safe.”


In the past week I’ve broken and fixed my new computer (in some meaningful manner) 6 times… and created with it, NOTHING. Wrong approach.

@GildedLillian 4D printer.

@Rubin110 Amen to all three. Internet’s funny, sometimes.

Great. I worked for 2 hours and now I can plug in my suitcase.

It doesn’t even have wifi.


@sonomabuzz Mmm mm tasty fish

“What’s that sound? Shhh… I think it’s coming from the watermelon…”

Watermelon explodes!

* this actually just happened in my kitchen

Sometimes, when I’m sad, I like to read Wikipedia articles. Then I feel like I know something. This much I know.

Comforts upon breaking an egg:

“Oh, those? Don’t worry, I buy ‘em by the dozen.”

@b3ttybo0o Hair is keratin. While keratin is protein, it’s fibrous, which means you’re not digesting it. But it’s great for solid poops.

@vihartvihart It’s more of an art than a science, and by art I mean magic.

I wish there were a user-controllable optimism setting for driving direction ETAs. Some days feel luckier than others.

those cranes in the sky
that skyscraper — was it there before?
I guess I wasn’t paying attention

Be the obnoxious stereotype you want to see in the world!

RT @Asher_Wolf: The anonymous Grindr of unicorn-fetishists

@xek Happened to my wife once, at a place called Fortune House. Told the server, got another cookie, and it had double fortunes. Figures.


Is there an uncanny valley for LED candles?

“Turn right at Flax. It’s the big art store on Market.”

@Orinz I don’t know what I’m saying either. This is largely intentional.

Once, I wanted to build a hoverboard using angular momentum. But I guess your magic cube is cool, too.…

Suit the fuvjck up. The smart money is in baby insurance.

Kids, this year, remember to always double-check that you’re inserting the RAM correctly. I know that’s oddly specific but just trust me.

[this tweet intentionally left blank]

I know it’s year’s end and we’re supposed to reflect on meaning, but honestly I just can’t get over how great miswak makes my teeth feel.

OH: And I thought, ‘wait, this is starting to sound like a weird sex cult.’ But then I thought, ‘Fuck it! It’s MY weird sex cult!’ #notlynae