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Monthly Archives: August 2013

Boogaloo Shrimp’s Gravity-Defying “Broom Dance” Revealed in New Study as Basic Interaction of Gravitons; Considered Boring Now.

Remember to say it again. Say it more than once if needed. Say it multiple times.

@arlenarlenarlen Only if you juggle them.

@jeromegv But not my baby! Just another baby human. And a big one :-D

@colinaut We all did.

She’s here.

Go suck a bag of cronuts! #shitlynaesays

@grumpyxek That wasn’t grumpy, that was actually insightful! False advertising!

@the_wombat It’s more of a low growl right now.

If I were a dog, I would constantly be barking at people in baseball caps.

Well, Chicklet, a few days before your birth, your dad shaved his iconic mustache. THAT’S why you get mustaches every year on your birthday.

Old Sage voice: “it is not the house which is stupid, but ourselves.”

Parking was suspiciously easy to find today… #fomoparking

@xek Put stuff in, take stuff out. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.


Guys, you seriously don’t want to know how many times today I have run into the knapsack problem.

RT @timescanner: The uterus is a 4D printer that fabricates an animated object that will grow, age, change and die over time.

@colinaut Go 1 more exit: Millbrae ave. Cross over the fwy & take the 101-N onramp. Pull over. It’s beautiful.

@jeromegv I hope I answered the question adequately. :D

NO! No no no. I know I’m lax with… like… actual tweets about my life, but I promise I won’t announce news of my first-born child in week 40.

@nthmost I used “she’s fertile for 2 days, but d’you know how long your stuff’s fertile inside her?” reasoning to instill doubt in the date.

The profundity of THE WAIT during the ninth month of pregnancy is… profound.

“Never underestimate the power of something to do.”

–things we say to remind ourselves about work’s good qualities

There’s a “massage” parlor in the Tenderloin with a parklet in front. We fought the good fight and won, people.

Know how The Onion could easily have Middle East coverage, but doesn’t? The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is there.

@tyrsalvia @metaphorge You go to Japan, the land of weird-ass sodas, and you discover Heritage Dr. Pepper? That’s at my fancy corner store!

In traffic: “Hey, Fucko! Reconsider your life choices! I know you didn’t ASK your parents to be named Fucko.”

You know, @qDot, it’s people like you that make me wifi-enable my accordion.

(I know, right?)

One last question: has the NSA figured out yet how to save and index *every* tweet? If so, our tax dollars were probably well spent.

RT @VICE: The death toll continues to rise after Egypt’s “Day of Anger.”…

“Walk us through a typical workday for you.”

Me: they still make those?

@stereo_dose Oh! That’s what that does.

@bnsrf I’m fond of this Doctor Who-esque Game of Thrones cover:…

Sometimes you have to say it more than once.

@bnsrf Were you subtweeting? I think I caught you subtweeting.

@xek Old infrastructure never dies, it just fades away then gets weirder.

Idea: a stealthy quadcopter, speakers a-bristling, flying along an abandoned railway, blaring the ghost-whistle of a long forgotten train.

You’re going to want lots of spaghetti afterwards.

One day I might do a Radio Unpronounceable here, but by then we might not be the only white people shopping at the Asian grocery store.

@Radiolab Isn’t it obvious? Non-joke answer: history itself.