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Monthly Archives: December 2012

Is it time for Camp Tipsy yet? #shitlynaesays

@CoralAorta I was watching it the same time as you! Be honest, as a porn girl, did you like uterus-cam?

I swear, he was John Waters, he was waiting for the 49 bus, and I think he’s supposed to be my spirit animal now.

@heph_ We will upgrade with the newer model 8 year-olds.

A “voice of God” mic doesn’t usually mean a prankster w/ an effects board & speakers randomly freaking out passers-by, but that’s my dream.

That weird moment when you can’t figure out how to do something on your new gadget so you watch a YouTube video made by a 10 year-old.

Wanted: a song called “Do They Know It’s Kwanzaa?” about how Africans have never heard of Kwanzaa.

I guess the luck’s back, huh? Plus, miraculously, I’ve yet to be spammed in 2 hours since tweeting the phrase ‘credit card’.

Picking up your litter because you are considerate to others: good. Realizing it’s your complete credit card information: priceless.

Anyone who has heretofore been utilizing me as a good luck charm, let it be known: the luck is on vacation.

Sorry, everybody… my fault. I never did put together that 9 Billion Names of God WordPress plugin.

RT @SalmanRushdie: Oh well. If the world doesn’t end tonight, it’s not the end of the world.

@outofsequences “I just met you / this is crazy / I froze that condom / let’s have a baby”

@bnsrf I think that ALL THE TIME. “Will I sound like an idiot to me?” Based on past experience, yes.

Like turning into a werewolf except just a single canine tooth. That’s what it feels like.

Boy, people really like nail polish. Good time to be selling it at a Christmas fair lemme tell ya.

@timmmii Would it help if I told you she was unlocking her fixie on Valencia?

My hobby: insisting that you pronounce the word ‘brunch’ as a Klingon would.

@b3ttybo0o It’s bound to happen sooner or later.

@ritualroasters This year’s coffee collection (in empty bag form)

Pregnant woman with grey hair carrying a yoga mat. How many Mission bingo squares is that?

“We’ll just have to get lucky I guess.”

–things I say right before I find parking

7:30 pm. I am 29.

Let the once-a-year birthday posts begin! This year, I will thoughtfully critique each of your creative offerings.

Yma Sumac claimed her 4-octave range was born of a childhood in the rarefied Andes. Begs the question: where is our Tibetan Yma Sumac?

The Deep Space Nine subreddit finally discovered my nail polish. 313 hits. #shitlynaesays

@NnaSez You and I will just have to agree to disagree on this one.

The irony is there’s very little of “Now That’s What I Call Music” that I would call music. #shitlynaesays

I’ve noticed a lot of us Democrat-leaning liberal-ish Bay Area types have gotten less fat since election ’08. Coincidence?

Orange velvet pants, I am in you. Pants status: orange velvet.

Sure, it may be a mistake, but will it be an interesting mistake?

Trolling example #3: most of the stuff my wife says to me now. She’s really gotten into #shitlynaesays. A lot.

Trolling example #2: being aggressively upsold at the Goodwill. Can’t shake the weirdness.

Trolling example #1: guy arguing via PM that a collection of “ancient music” should include NASA recordings of planetary ionospheres.

Some days I feel like the whole world is trolling me.

@tjcrowley Yup. Here ya go:…

We need to find the Huell Howser of Africa. #shitlynaesays

Do you know how cold it is in Norway right now? As Africans, we can help.

@xek Something like “Wachowski Starship”, perhaps? I think it’s already canon.

@mediapathic Ataraxia: The Unexplained…