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Monthly Archives: October 2012

“Then I realized that I didn’t really want to be Amish, I just wanted to make pies from scratch.”

@tjcrowley Hipsters fucking hate sportsball. I don’t think many people trashing it last night lived within 10 miles.

*ring ring*

Hello? Yes, me caveman voter. No, me no know candidate Thag-ud-Grabtar, but me strangely drawn to lilting, musical name.

@mediapathic keepvid.com is definitely the easiest, and they have a bookmarklet.

Why would you write a tweet fewer than 140 characters? Would you write a haiku with fewer than the proper number of syllables? Refrigerator.

Compliments I have received: “You are so much better than Toxoplasmosis!”

Son, you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned. You harvest and process prickly pears, you’re gonna get oh god they’re everywhere oh god

I should know my friends well enough that, if one of them starts posting the same meme repeatedly, they’re working on a scholarly paper.

“Don’t kid yourself. They’ll set shit on fire whether the Giants win or lose.”

*ring ring*

“Hello voter! Is voting important?”

“Yes! I get very anxious in fact… so much I even lose bowel control. Uh… go on…”

*click*

The narrative of California: massive waves of immigrants spoil everything for natives — since *at least* creation of Panamanian isthmus, yo.

Tech worker, recently moved to SF from Texas: “the city is overpriced and there are too many rich people.” Pays $3900/month for a 2-bedroom.

Whoa, imagine what the honking & cheering would sound like if some lasting good transpired instead of just a team winning a thing.

@tjcrowley I’d like to think that, 10 years ago, the same wouldn’t be said about people in restaurants dicking around on their phones, but…

@xek You could always rob a bank for a dollar. That’s pretty popular right now.

Ran into a tour group at my local mexi-mart for the first time. Guide had a great spiel even before the part where Woody Allen filmed there.

No no no, you can read catenema.com yourself. #shitlynaesays

Forcing sex offenders to go door-to-door encourages them to meet people with the same perversions. Fuck off, brain.

Remember when I used to write “Unintended Consequence of the Day” tweets? That was pretty depressing, even if it was good brain exercise.

Starlite: miracle heatproof plastic invented by hairdresser remains secret because unintended consequences, I guess? itotd.com/articles/653/s…

It’s October, and the rural fruit stands have become even more delightful than usual. @ Smith Family Farms instagr.am/p/Q0oC5aSVze/

The honeymoon sounds like it’s going well. No rush, but here’s some nicknames:

1) Chicklet
2) Petite Poulet
3) Rinaldini
4) Chicken Nugget

The consensus seems to be that, yes, Advantage can cause your cat to trip balls. And boy is it weird.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate election years? Pencil in your own context here, people.

@LadyCartoonist Oh, is it Wednesday already?

@nthmost For some reason I thought you didn’t smoke pot. Oh well, good insight!

The Great Yellow Paint Spill Disaster of 2012 had many victims, among them the project room rug & thousands, if not millions of brain cells.

People who actually know stuff about Fleet Week: have the jets started later, or have I learned how to sleep through an F-15 flyover?

@arlenarlenarlen Dude, there really needs to be one of these signs at Lloyd Lake in Golden Gate Park.

@Kyanne24 Wait… what Lynae are you talking about?

@jamellembartels @lynae_nae Wait… what Lynae are you talking about? Are all Lynaes doing this now?

@Cody_Kucera Wait… what Lynae are you talking about?

@xek @LadyCartoonist In fact, they were huge, low-altitude fireworks at 23rd & Harrison. I saw em in my skivvies.

Lynae is sick, and I’ve been reading about the Black Death, so I made her a pomander. What else to do? instagr.am/p/QeGRlyyV_c/

RT @weirdnews: Blue and green honey tied to M&M’s factory waste? nbcnews.to/RgVqHy

@BoobsRadley “The City” for some, but I’ve always used “Sam Frisky”.

Your bicycle needs a minor repair. The repair guys, seeing it, jokingly blame spiders. Out crawls a bigass spider. You nod, knowingly.

@tyrsalvia @Horse_ebooks ?

Oh, the humanzee! #shitlynaesays

Dinner party, pumpkin pie, whipped cream. None of the 10 people here have ever used a whipped cream canister for its intended purpose.