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Monthly Archives: May 2012

@mediapathic @unwoman I think I can tell when you tweet at each other, even though I don’t really know either of you.

I went through 3 pairs of latex gloves before deciding this would be better. Hands status: @ NIMBY

Ever since I spent one summer working for a landscape architect, I’ve possessed a keen eye for parking lot design. Ignorance is bliss.

Being on the National Do Not Call List has exponentially increased my shitty opportunities to lower my non-existent shitty credit card debt.

How kind of telemarketers to constantly remind me that, by never getting a credit card, I never have to be interested in telemarketers.

RT @UberFacts: Men are 58% more likely to die from accidental injuries as opposed to women.

New house rule! No power tools after 10 pm (for your sake and mine).

Nail polish is serious business

Let me just put it this way: if human drugs were as plentiful and enjoyable and safe as catnip, we might be pets too.

Geez, you’d think you people had never heard a sixth wave post-post-post-feminist critique before.

You know that children are just a living symbol of female oppression, right? #shitlynaesays

@bnsrf Remember to sample the psychedelic truffles while they’re still legal!

I joke, I joke. We all know how many people there are in Kenya bitching about the cost of high speed internet.…

First world meets third world problems: I always wear the fancy hat with a button in the center when I carry heavy shit on my head.

Reports circulate that SuperDiscoBarge will make an appearance at Coachella next year.


Still on the way to fireworks? Zebests are encamped on the road to the Wave Organ, near the brass band. Feels like the center of the world.

The evening is saved. I found my 3D fireworks spectral diffraction glasses.

What would Bob Marley think if he knew we weren’t composting? #shitlynaesays

Space Tribe Apparel, purveyors of fine “I am so high right now” clothing. @ Funk & Flash

Added to the list of things Lynae has learned the hard way: always screw the lids back on to large jars of glitter.

Today in Bad Idea Theater: combover scalp tattoos.

Gross, this grapefruit tastes like grapefruit.

A Common Phrase in the English Language that Slipped by the Trademark Office™

I, for one, welcome our new venture capitalist overlords.

I HAVE always depended on the kindness of weirdoes. That’s right, right?

That’s what I’ve been saying: I was the first person ever to wear cool socks. #shitlynaesays

Tonight I shall sleep the sleep of the victorious.

@dhianagustini_ I am afraid you have the wrong @orinz. Just letting you know.

We got a big ol’ convoy, we got a big ol’ weddin’ anniversary convoy.

@xek I go to @scrap_sf. Rarely will I find exactly the frames I need, but I always find something (and it’s always cheap and interesting).

“That California Cuisine cookbook is sooo weird…”

“Well, yeah. Have you BEEN to California?”

@UberFacts No they aren’t — they’re venomous. And only the males.

I was making fun of North Korea’s website before it was cool. No, seriously, they made a cool website and that’s weird

Oh shit, now the cat will be licking glitter off himself for weeks.

@paleofuture Not to cynically stereotype a famously huge group of people, but you’ve MET some boomers, right?

I dedicate this, my 5000th tweet, to my lovely wife of two years — for her complete apathy to any of my bullshit Twitter milestones.

“I’m taking a class from a woman who has worked with the military making an aromatherapy replacement for, basically, meth.”

Look at this, it’s a special dollhouse bathroom just for baby critters! #shitlynaesays #bonanniversaire

Been married two years today. If I’m not mistaken, this anniversary is all 7 seasons of Deep Space 9, with subtitles, on a hard drive.