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Monthly Archives: January 2012

Survey: when you hear the phrase “morning constitutional”, do you think A) a nice walk or B) bowel movement?

My recent Flickr photos are mostly Instagrams or Instagram-like. Researched it… and I’ve used cross-process for 3 years…

hetslash: (n.) original uncorrupted meaning unknown; only modern usage is to troll my wife

Fun fact: if you listen to enough Boards of Canada you become mildly schizophrenic. Luckily, all the voices ever tell you to do is “orange”.

What to do with cool street finds that you just can’t use? Play secret midnight matchmaker with your friends. #freejunkfairy

Look, if you don’t want it, there are plenty of starving children in Africa who’d LOVE to have your sock collection.

The network cable I strung into the living room’s great and all, but its use of antelope horns borders on Foxworthy-esque.

RT @discordianquote: You never really learn to swear until you learn to code.

Didn’t know it was State of the Union. Drinking games were played anyways, feels like.

Nothing like a clean white shirt at the beginning of the day to remind you how much work you did by the end of the day.

@nthmost “Boy” really isn’t equivalent there. Much more useful to compare “guy”, I think. Conveys a generic identity; lack of personality.

@yerdua @herpderpedia @wikipedia CITATION NEEDED

Fun fact: “parentalism” is not only an anagram of “paternalism”, it’s the preferred gender-neutral term, you sexists.

And if Wikipedia were up I could link to an article to explain why that’s funny.

Because it’s not funny. Which is what makes it funny.

I’m an Internet radio host. And I’m not sure what the joke is, but the punchline is… NO SOPA, RADIO!

@shrwtr Contact mic? Of course, if you had one of those, I’d really like a recording of a cat purring sooner or later.

Less than 2 hours in, Wikipedia’s blackout has already proven worthwhile for the hilarious complaints

[picture of Philip J. Fry squinting]
Can’t tell if Muslim woman
or just cold

You won’t notice it at first, then you’ll notice it everywhere: people who say “two thousand twelve” vs. people who say “twenty twelve”.

RT @mediapathic: The most “America” ever crammed into one photo.

I hope Huell Howser visits Oaksterdam some day.

“Now, you got medical marijuana over here. You use this for medicine?”

Missed last week’s episode? You probably missed this heartwarming story of Elvis the giant lawnmower-stealing crocodile…

Injuries sustained in the course of preparing for today’s Radio Unpronounceable means it’s rerun day. Enjoy the funky Arabic mixtape, folks.

Every time I open a can of lacquer thinner I can smell my life expectancy dwindling.

@xek Minimum wage in the Pearl River Delta went up on January 1st. Just sayin’.

RT @paleofuture: Record high temperatures across the country are really hurting Southern California’s smugness economy.

@sherilyn You have to pay to get out of the phonebook, y’know.

I once met a Chinese-German girl. She was cute, but I just kept thinking: kielbasa chow mein, bok choy spätzle, pretzel-glazed dumplings…

Made coffee with salt instead of sugar. My life is a punchline from the 50s.

That productive, carefree feeling when you don’t check your phone or email for a day. That less-carefree feeling when you finally do.

California now prohibits minors from tanning beds. Half-naked jailbait on every SoCal beach. That’s called #UnintendedConsequences.

I rode out one January morning to get some pictures of the sunrise. But as it turned out, it was January in San Francisco.

Just so everyone knows, this is what the skyline looks like at 7am @ The Wave Organ

And that’s the end of that.

Galvanized noodle extruder.

The last tweet of the year is always weird because it will appear at the top of my yearly archive forever.

This is going to be the best Fourth of July ever!