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filed under Unexpected Dangers of New Tech: they lost their emotional support mongoose #FacebookLive 😭😭😭

a visual koan

Because I’m not dead already, I broke the shit outta this branch

Tactical Fulfillment Complaining: things you complain most about are the things you’re most interested in.

The tabs are now closing. Please beware of the tabs.

Instead of tweeting we should be repeating. Did I forget to repeat? Retweet.

There’s a special level of hell for people who say flutist instead of flautist. And it’s just you, standing there, alone. #ShitLynaeSays

I can’t right now, I have to spraypaint an aardvark. #shitlynaesays

Then there was the time I left a country dressed as its flag

“Whoa, look how torn that German flag is 🇩🇪”

“That would never fly in the States… 😉”

“No. 😖”

The world is all messed up. The smoothie place serves baked potatoes. The ramen place serves flan. Mexican place? Mex Burgers. Where am I‽‽‽

RT @christhebarker: This is too much now. #ripgeorgemicheal #LastChristmas #sgtpepper2016 #sgtpepper2016 massive thanks to @Carl_Price http…

Don’t forget to make a last tweet of the year! Today’s #Kwanzaa principle is Purpose (Nia): our collective effort to attain true greatness.

jeezuscryst, sometime I feel like just a malapropism of affectations

I noticed that our living room is filled with the bones of many avian beasts and the poop of many robots… #shitlynaesays

RT @TheRadishBabe: daily reminder 😌

Amazing how every time I take a glasses day (contacts hiatus) there’s craploads of news published I don’t wanna read. Or… that’s just 2016.

What did the witch say after curing her gonorrhea?

Anyone have a black zentai suit (full-body Noh theatre things)? Need to hide my strange human…

insta-magical secret diary @ Teach me Dairy

#blackandwhite #sorrynotsorry #doordonot @ Mission District, San Francisco

One day this li’l #screenie
coulda illustrated for people’s kids-kids
how 2016 servitors

Bredsnek, I choose you! #brokemon

I made a Halloween mix what’s got evil dripping from every pustulating orifice of bilous hatevenom. You like?…

Do those weed brownie guys in Dolores Park accept EBT? Not-ever-serious question.

“Is there poop?” he asked the heavens, for his feet were on the ground. The ground might have poop. Today it didn’t, though.

If I think about it really hard, can you perceive the Tao on my face? Can you not perceive it?

I’ve seen 8 self-driving cars in my entire life, all in San Francisco. Half of those were in the last 3 days. #justdatapoints

I started hand-writing complaints to leave in gutters around town, doing social media right

if I had a nickel for every time I bought a pen to encourage me to write, I could buy EVEN MORE PENS 🖋🤒

last night I got locked into a consumer-item-selection loop shopping for pen ink; world exists now only to honor God of Navajo Turquoise

The invention of hair gel (pomade) was inspired by anatomical investigations of bird preen glands – True/False/#shitorinsays?

In the second Trojan war, the Greeks fill the horse with dynamite.

😄: hey, what’s the difference between a half an idea & an idea?
🤔: I don’t know
😄: …
🤔: ??
😄: oh, guess I don’t know either

What if you actually DO know better than everyone else, who should you check with?

over your head
under the radar
no dreams last night
(I wonder what’s for dinner)

longest day
shortest tweet
am I doing it right

I wish I couldn’t remember the mistake I made called enlightenment.

I haven’t unfollowed anyone in years… maybe I should. Ok, who thinks they suck?…

33 seconds is by far my favorite microwave cook time, and has been for decades, and sometimes I wish we could all still tweet like 2008