September 7th, 2006 @ 11:47 pm
Today I’ve been three months out of Australia. Three months, being back in the U.S. without a job, or really any well-conceived plan, or a pointed direction to go. And I’ll tell you why that time period is so special as opposed to 2 months or just 1 or a single rotation of Neptune: 3 months is the limit of an Australian tourist visa. The one I never got. In other words, there’s a different reality out there where I came home today. I flew in to LAX about 10:30 this morning with a lot more knick-knacky crap and probably more money.
Read more…Because I can place that as my one mistake during my Australian travels. Well, no… there was a lot of mistakes, a litany of shame mostly involving stupid things I said or did around pretty girls, but none I truly regret save for that one. I didn’t make any damn money! Which is not to say it wasn't bloody well attempted…
January 31st, 2006 @ 12:00 pm in the category
Glot-glot
Attention visitor! There is no new glot for you here. The Glotmaster has travelled very far to glot from an entirely different continent, and you can sample his incredible excursion to the wonderful land of Oz right here:
The OzGlot
Until such and such a time when he decides he’s no longer there, you should all be able to get your daily smacking of glot right there. And hey! New feature—you can now contact this dude. There’s a form right there on that site. He loves mail.
What’s that you say—it’s too obvious I’m just writing this in the third person? I’m just trying to distance myself is all. Ha! And with that sublime pun (sublimely dumb) you’lll have to tide yourselves over for the next several months. Till then—ozzie ozzie ozzie(glot)!
October 12th, 2005 @ 9:34 pm
Due to the overwhelming number of inquiries as to why I’m making my way to Australia early next year, I feel I have to address the imminent influx of letters, email, and phone calls from concerned fans. Also I have nothing better to write about. And I have no fans.
Here’s why: Australia is frickin’ cool. Exhibit A: platypuses (not platypi, it’s a greek derivative… dumbass). The name translates as “flat foot” which is without a doubt fershure their least remarkable quality. I like to call them duckmoles. Not only are they venomous, egg-laying, and billed, they also get a whole ‘nother sixth sense: electrolocation. A platypus can perceive differences in electrical current between the two sides of its bill. Combined with its wickedly edematous spur, this makes the platypus the perfect go-to animal for scheming mad scientists everywhere.
I registered today for the Thorn Tree, a simple forum run by Lonely Planet for travellers like myself. Spice is nice but moreso good advice. And this, this was my first contribution:
Greetings all,
This 21 y.o. male willl be arriving in Sydney on Jan. 25th (yes that’s intentional) but will be taking the workaday route: job, apartment, the whole deal. Accomodations might be in order for the right kind of oz-farer.
That’s right. I just invited a bunch of strangers to sleep over at my place—in a foreign country I’ve never been to and don’t know that much about. Unless you count Platypi. I mean -puses.
Oh, and I should mention since I didn’t really talk about it at all—if you really want to find out why I’m going to Australia, you should try reading the other glot.
September 23rd, 2005 @ 7:50 pm
BUNAC work visa, 2-night accomodations, orientation in Sydney, and Lonely Planet guidebook: $595
Inclusive 7-month traveler’s insurance: $379
Round trip airfare (including tax) to Australia: $1414.29
International Youth Travel Card to get huge airfare discount: $17.50
Total cost of getting there: $2405.79
Total money in the bank: $2396.46
…
Dammit. Can someone loan me nine dollars and thirty-three cents?
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