I went to a spelling bee tonight. It was a special spelling bee… one made just for San Francisco. With beer.
A spelling bee for drunk adults, where the words are often inappropriate, misspelled, or shouted out by the audience. It ended with a cage match. Still with me? They put the last two drunk, adult spellers in a big giant plastic (or was it cardboard?) cage and make them spell things like “cunnilingus.” I didn’t have the fortitude to actually try and win, so instead I wore one of several metal colander bowls circulating about, placing it on my head, and given the word “xylograph” I spelled l-e-t-s-d-a-n-c-e. Which, yes, is kind of dumb—but entertaining nonetheless. For the record I could’ve easily spelled xylograph.
And I met a girl. Some cute nerdy kind, no doubt, the kind that wants to pick up dudes at a drunk spelling bee by giving them their Flickr screenname. Oh, who am I kidding… that girl would be Meredith, who is the primary reason that this entry didn’t get posted until January 2008, more than a year later. I didn’t have the analytic skills and distance skills necessary to make a fun entertaining lighthearted post for awhile. And, like many things, I just never got around to it. But—this being the impartial and startlingly complete record that it is—I’ll attempt an account.
After she gave me the Flickr-name, I kinda teased her a bit. See, no girl had ever tried to give me her number with a screenname before. Suppose I should’ve starting getting used to it this being San Francisco and all. But I was new to town; what can I say. After being adequately teased, she gave me her AIM name. Even funnier. Of course, if you understand women, you’ll understand the obviousness of why she gave me her number after that. Women respond to teasing, says I. Cool girl, I found out. I saw her again later, we hit it off, things progressed for a little bit and then they didn’t, petered off… old story. Didn’t last that long, maybe two weeks all told. Gave me a lot of happiness, but a dangling feeling. Left me wanting more, which I eventually found. “Worth it” is what I’m trying to say. That’s it. That’s all there was. All because of a spelling bee.
This is gonna be an awesome town to live in, huh?